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Speed Dating
Here are some thoughts on Speed Dating from Jo Hemmings, our Dating Coach. Find out more about Jo and her excellent book, 'The Dating Game'.
Speed dating was imported form the USA, where it’s had huge success. Based on the key ingredients for chemistry and attraction – voice, humour and looks, it works roughly like this:
• Anything from 10 to 30 women and men meet at an agreed location.
• They are paired off at tables for two and given three minutes to chat and get to know each other.
• They are each given a card to keep track of the people that they meet and to decide whether they would like to meet with them again.
• After three minutes a bell or a buzzer goes, or music is played, signalling that the guy has to move to the next table while another one comes to yours.
• You discreetly mark your card as to whether you’d like to see them again – the guy does this too, but it’s harder for him, as he has to keep moving on.
• With a break or two – depending on how many people are gathered together – the three-minute process repeats until all couples have met and encountered each other.
• At the end of the evening, there’s usually a chance to relax and mingle further.
• You then hand your card in and if two of you have both ‘ticked’ each other, email addresses will be swapped care of the organisers and further contact can be made.
Clinical? Yes, but is a serious shortcut to meeting people and saves spending hours with someone on a date when you know from the first few minutes whether there’s any chance that you fancy each other and whether the relationship could take off. Looks, humour, character and voice are instrumental in knowing whether there’s chemistry there and while speed dating can’t give any guarantees – any more than any other kind of ‘blind’ dating medium, it’s certainly a start. And if you sat down, took one look, listened for a moment and thought ‘no way’ it’s a hell of a time saver before you have to make your excuses and go home. I’ve tried it and think it’s definitely fun, though probably not for the shyer or more tongue-tied amongst you, as the pressure is definitely on to meet and greet in a pretty short space of time. It’s definitely worth having a drink first, just to loosen up.
Speed Dating Tips
• Smile – always a great start and a good icebreaker
• Welcome the guy to your table – even if he looks like the creature time forgot, it will make him feel at ease.
• Hold your head up and make eye contact. It shows openness and confidence.
• Try an unusual question. ‘What would your best mate say if he knew you were here?’ or ‘What’s a nice guy like you doing in a place like this?’ might be corny, but a lot better than the ‘Where do you live?’ or ‘What do you do for a living?’ that he’s heard several times already and establishes a dry sense of humour that he may or may not respond favourably to.
• Wear a little discreet scent. It’ll help mellow the moment.
• Look smart and sassy, but avoid too much cleavage spillage. He’s there to talk to you, not your tits.
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