Dating success - first date success!

So, you've got through the first hurdle and you've found someone on an online site, got to know them a bit by e-mail and now have their phone number and a date in the diary. So now what? - the date itself of course! Luckily, you can make things a bit easier for yourself by doing a bit of preparation, to help things run smoothly (and hopefully make sure you get that all important second date).

Where should you meet for your first date?

Of course, first of all you need to both agree on the best place to go. At weekends a lunch date can be a good option; your date will usually lasts an hour or two and neither of you will be under any pressure to stick around if things are not working out. But, if you're getting on really well, you can chose to go on somewhere else.

Or, how about meeting for drinks in a wine bar early on in the evening? You can keep the rest of the evening free if you like, just in case you want to go on for dinner...but, you don't need to tell your date in advance. That way, if you really don't want to stay any longer than necessary you can make your excuses and leave

We don't recommend that you fix a dinner-date for your first meeting but if you decide to do so, then make sure that you know the restaurant you choose quite well, after all you don't want to be forced into a romantic date situation before you've worked out if that's the way you want it to be. Not only that, but dinner dates can be expensive...and whether or not you want to go Dutch, we don't advise putting financial pressure on your potential partner when you have only just met. If you are a man and you *want* to pay for your date, consider that she might feel you are putting her under pressure of a completely different sort.

Preparing for your Date

Rather than be panicked by awkward silences you will find that a little preparation goes a long way. Try reading a couple of newspapers to brush-up on gossip and whats in the News, and then you will have plenty of things to talk about. If you are a bit nervous, you might find it helps to pick a few interesting topic and make a note of them. Most of the time just knowing that they're there is enough - and you will find that you don't need them anyway

If you are really worried that you might find it difficult to chat why not prepare a plan of the things you'd like to talk about. Once again, you will probably find that it is never needed, but the experience will be a lot more comfortable with that safety net in place.

To start with, you could ask questions about food or drink they enjoy, how they got to the date, what they do for work and whether they enjoy it.

What would you like to drink?
Where do you live? So how long did it take you to get here tonight?
What sort of work do you do? Do you enjoy it?

Then move on and ask questions about things they've talked about previously where you could have a longer conversation:

Tell me a bit more about (something you know they are interested in)
Have you been abroad often? Where have you been?
Are you going away on holiday this year?
Is there somewhere you'd really like to visit...?

Or try asking a daft question to lighten the mood, something like: "If you could invite a dinner party of famous historical figures, who would you chose and why?". And, if all is going well, you can then ask: "What would you serve them for dinner?".

Finally, and this is the bit where you need all your dating skills!

This is the bit where people who are dating again after a long relationship can struggle, so if a second date has not been secured or has not come up, a good question to ask is:

What was the last film/play/concert you saw? What's on right now that you are planning to see? (remember, when they answer it doesn't matter if you've already seen it, simply say: "Oh I'd love to see that") If they're interested in you, they should say something along the lines of: "Well I should be booking tickets to go and see it soon and I'd love some company so why don't you come with me?"

Now congratulate yourself...you've had your first date and you can look forward to meeting up again!

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